Ten and one movies that the greatest movie critic of all time really hated

He learned America, but also the rest of the world, more or less, cinema.

But he also taught us something else, perhaps more important, that writing about cinema can also be a art.

And he wrote a lot is the truth, uninterruptedly from 1967 until 2012, when cancer no longer allowed him to write.

A life full of cinema, for 45 whole years he was constantly writing reviews for the "Chigago Sun Times". More than 250 texts a year. Each year.

Together with his collaborator, also known as Gene Siskel, they created their own system of criticism, the "two thumbs". Two raised thumbs for a good one movie, two thumbs down for bad movies.

Roger Ebert lived and breathed cinema and worked hard to bring all aspects of it to the surface. He also loved the whole new batch of American cinema, creators like Scorsese, Coppola and Altman, but he also loved European directors. And especially Bergman.

His reviews have always had something of a cinematic theory, which is why they were great. So great that he was the first film critic to receive a Pulitzer Prize for his writing.

Agree and disagree, Ebert's reviews will never be bored. They were simple, clear, understandable, neither theatrical style nor eloquent terms. And so they were texts that worked on their own. There are people who have confessed that they read his reviews without even being interested in the cinema!

You saw a man passionate about the seventh art vigorously defending his views. And to bury in a caustic way all the movies he hated.

The truth of course is that even the ones he buried, he loved somehow. In his own way. These also gave him the opportunity to give us his most witty and enjoyable texts!

For the untold "The Loss of Love" (The Brown Bunny) of 2003, after giving it 0 stars, he wrote let's say:

"I had done colonoscopy once they let me see her on TV. It was more fun than "Loss of Love". In fact, when the director Vincent Gallo asked him to speak publicly, mocking him for his extra pounds, the critic came back:

"It's true that I'm fat. But one day I may become thin, but he will remain the director of "Loss of Love"!

Another excellent example of his sharp humor was his critique of the 2001 film "Freddy Got Fingered", in which he wrote below his 0 stars (he always scored an excellent 4 stars).

"This film does not scratch the bottom of the barrel. This film is not the bottom of the barrel. This film is not under the bottom of the barrel. This film is not worth mentioning in the same sentence with barrels ".

Of course, he did not chew his words even for popular films that were especially loved by the world audience…

"Usual Suspects" (1995) - 1,5 star

"Once again my understanding slipped and I finally noted: '' As far as I understand, I do not care ''. It was, however, somewhat reassuring at the end of the movie to find out that I finally understood what it was to understand. It was just that there was less to understand than a movie originally suggested. "

"Armageddon" (1998) - 1 star

"The film is an attack on the eyes, the ears, the brain, the common sense and the human desire to have fun. No matter how much they charge to get in, it's more worth going out… The ''Armageddon"It is rumored that he enlisted the services of 9 screenwriters.

Why did they need someone? The dialogue is either one-line screams or romantic salivations. "It will explode" is heard so many times that I wonder if every screenwriter wrote it once and then sat down with a big smile on his face, another day of work is over "…

"Thor" (2011) - 1,5 star

"The story may be enough for a children's animated film with him Thor, Odin and the others being played by piglets. In the arena of comic book superhero movies, it's a desperate attempt.

Nothing interesting happens, nothing interesting is said and the special effects do not give birth to place or time, they are just special effects ".

"Charlie's Angels" (2000) - 1,5 star

"Charlie's Angels" is like a video game movie trailer. Without the video game and without the movie ".

"The Love Guru" (2008) - 1 star

"Meyers has some funny moments, but this movie could have been written on the toilet walls by first-timers. Any reference to the human reproductive organ or the process of defecation is not automatically funny because it is simply cunning, but the Myers seems to be possessed by this delusion.

"It's as if he's trying to get away with something, but in reality all he's getting away with is selling tickets for a sad experience."

Saving Silverman (2001) - 1,5 star

"'Save the groom' is so bad in so many different ways that you might have to look at it, as an example of the lowest point of a bell-shaped curve…

As for Neil Diamond, "Save the Groom" is his first appearance in a fiction film from "The Jazz Singer" (1980). "One can only admire the fact that he waited 20 years to appear in a second film, only to find one even worse than the first."

"Animal Detective" (1994) - 1 star

"Most actors look like they wanted to be in other movies. The movie basically has a joke, which is its weird weirdness Ace Ventura. If you're laughing at this joke, chances are you're laughing at Jerry Lewis too, so I can like you even if I do not understand you.

I found the film a long and harmless punch in an impenetrable plot. Children may like it. To real, young children. "

"Duke" (2005) - 1 star

"Of course you don't have to be smart to play in ''The Dukes of Hazzard''. But people like Willie Nelson and Bart Reynolds had to be smart enough to stay away from her. Here we have a brainless and old-fashioned jolt of two good old men roaming the countryside in the South inside General Lee, their favorite 1969 Dodge Charger.

Coincidentally, I also drive a 1969 Dodge Charger. You could certainly distinguish them because mine does not have the Confederate flag painted on the roof!

"Godzilla" (1998) - 1,5 star

"Going to see ''Godzilla'' in the Palace of the Cannes Film Festival is like going to a satanic ceremony in St. Peter's Basilica. It is arrogance in the faith that the building represents. Cannes is emotionally attached to a concept that wants the film to be smart, moving and wonderful.

"The 'Godzilla' is a big, ugly and clumsy machine that is meant to give teenagers the impression that they are watching a movie."

"The Bucket List" (2007) - 1 star

"The 'Bucket List' is a film about two old men who look nothing like humans, both suffer from cancer that looks nothing like cancer, and embark on adventures that look nothing like real adventures.

I urgently advise them hospitals: Do not make the DVD available to your patients. There is a risk of an epidemic with bed linen being thrown on the televisions!

Out of competition: "The Human Centipede" (2010) - 0 stars

"I have to give stars to the films I write about review. This time I refuse to do it. The star rendering system is not suitable for this movie. Is the movie good? Is it bad? Does it matter? It is what it is and lives in a world where the stars do not shine "…

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