What is the process for organizing the -perfect we do not know if it is- wedding in Cyprus? Below follow step by step all the absurd stages of Cypriot marriage. If you find yourself, your girlfriend, your sister anywhere in the text below, it's not our fault.
Wedding planning: The first steps
If you have plenty of free time, a reduced budget and a cart of friends who have already gone through the gutter and are willing to help you, then with a magazine from the kiosk and a compact Excel on the computer, you do your job. If not here's a new product just for you! Of course, you will need two hundred coffees and fifty bottles of wine, until you discuss with your last acquaintance who got married who are the good wedding planners in the city, but ψ let's see. And suppose you found the good wedding planner, [Yes , she is a woman. Men are not famous for their organizational qualities] what do you do? But, what everyone does: You will torture her until you see her eyes watering with tears or until she throws you out of her office in the middle of the wedding. One will stink and the other will make you sour , she will run like crazy to sample other options, from the tablecloth to the box for the envelopes and you will continue to break her nerves until she says "Amen". With her you will discuss the theme of the wedding, (yes, because if the wedding does not have a theme, where are you going my lady? the donkey, vrakas groom, weigh violins and does not mix). If you are of course the classic Cypriot cosmopolitan (sic!) You will choose, classically, the golden chairs, the golden candlesticks and something, anything, in purple because the combination fits. You two will have a good time, do not worry either, this is her job.The -Cypriot- calls
The traditional Cypriot calls, where you run for three months from one house to another and ring bells to everyone you have to see for five years, hold up well. Of course, the new fashion is to announce to the proud-who-will-marry-your parents and in-laws that you want to τον gather him a little of the number of 3,000 guests. Then, the proud Cypriot father will tell you that money is not an issue, it is enough to invite all 40 colleagues from the ministry to whom he put an envelope at his children's weddings. You will insist, because there is no respectful hotel room to feed all these strangers, and in addition, you know very well, what is the next alternative you have to feed them [roasted potato skewer and salad with a ton of cramp] all of them. Scary! So you will fight a hundred times with your mother, she will fight with your father, your in-laws will tell her to your soon-to-be husband, generally a week of conversations will mediate until you decide who you keep, who you throw away the guest list.
Save the date
Yes, this is a newcomer to the island "custom", to send, as a couple of Americans, information before the invitation that… an invitation will follow. It goes without saying that somewhere here the wedding e-mail will be listed, neokipriakos_gamos@gmail.com, and in addition the hashtag that will accompany the wedding photos that you will upload to Instagram, e.g. #neokiprioi. Then you will meet a graphic designer who specializes in wedding invitations (sic!) And has a rich album to show you, whose nerves you will also break, as in the wedding planner, because you do not want the font so round, it is not imaginative enough the front of the invitation, should talk to its printer to find a silver foil that has a little gold inside, preferably 18 carats. Also, if you want from these laser cut envelopes-elegant works and also the names of the guests are written calligraphically in the envelope, you will book a ticket to Athens ("Well, slowly, one day I will go and I will come") to go to well-known printing house that all Cypriots go to and the owner has already started speaking the language from the frequent contact with Cypriots.
Appointments for the place
After you put the gluer, the mother and the mother-in-law in the cart, the girls will go for food tasting… everywhere. You will get the menus in writing, their economical variations if the shrimp leaves or if the wine stinks a little alcohol and, most likely, you end up where the whole city ends. There they will inform you that even… sneezing is charged on the wedding day. The extra range of lights on the ceiling, the tablecloth with the different seam, the projector and everything is charged, do not ask "why?", Ask "how many?". Also come up with a menu for the telospan buffet and accept how you pay for the nightingale cuckoo for quality cuckoo food.
The wedding dress
Dream of a life, it does not look like Kate Middleton at all, it is a step higher and more princely and in the well-known and very expensive store that everyone goes to but buys half, the prices are not close. But. This "but". You did your math and calculated that the tickets, accommodation and wedding dress you found on the internet are worth a three-day visit to London, which you will combine with a shoe search that is the biggest and most horrible torment of every future bride. What the groom will wear, his own conversation, as long as the tie does not have prints and the suit is not crossed. Let his mother take care of the rest. The bride's side has to deal with pre-wedding makeup and the 50 photos from the testing done by the famous make-up artist to decide if the lashes should be tilted outwards or upwards.
The big day
The most important day in the life of the bride has arrived. And the groom too, because on the same day his team is playing a cup final - who the hell decided the date? - and together with his company he will leave ballroom 1 for a while and will linger in the lobby for the developments. In the church, the flowers are arranged as if the space had been transformed into a nursery with two cameras and two photographers, instead of a mystery, the whole thing is reminiscent of filming. If you are in the churchyard, if you turn up, you will see the photographer's drone circling the church dome. As soon as the mystery-shooting is over, a rented vintage convertible, preferably white, will come to pick up the newlyweds and behind them will hang tins and the specially made for the day sign Just Married, with the red heart separating the words and engraved below the date. Because, we always did that at weddings in our villages.
Worst in greetings, where the grandeur of the decor will stand out as it should, as the bride imagined and as the wedding planner's soul came out to set it up. From candles to glasses with sand, white ribbons waving everywhere, floating fake flowers in the pool [we saw that too, yes] the basket has it all. The music will of course be jazz, a type of music that the couple never heard in their lives before their wedding day but they were told that this is how it goes in greetings if they want to get away from the sounds of Love Boat - cruise ship that trended in the 90s. lunch that will follow, the video from the shooting in the church and the downloads of the drone - and the editing and the music investment and everything - will be ready and will be made exclusively for the wedding guests before they become a whole lot on facebook. Then, after the couple cuts the overproduction cake from which no one will try a single piece because usually everyone is so upset by the food that they can not stand or see it, the couple's wedding dance follows. The lights will go out, with bated breath everyone will look at them and… chuck. The awkward groom and the bride, whose only dance she knew in her life was Macarena, will combine three types of dance, pirouettes, a non-stick ball and the dance teacher they hired to give this show will be sitting at the table 22 , behind third-degree relatives and will try to boast about them.
The fun will continue with a DJ of course, although lately we have also noticed an insert by forgotten Cypriot singers who have made their way through Eurovision. When leaving, do not forget to catch your Turkish delight wrapped in cellophane and packed in a pouch which is enclosed in a box and the wedding gift, which the bride's sister told them to choose something useful, but you will probably never use it.Married life
Once the contents of the envelopes have been counted and the names of the guests have been passed to excel, the baby chicks submitted by each of them will be recorded so that both the couple's parents and the newlyweds will know what they will get at the next wedding they will be invited to. The honey moon in an exotic destination will follow this whole process but the newlyweds will not be left alone. No. The last word of the wedding is to carry the cinematographer with you to have another video to show how wonderful and luxurious you had and how much you love. And do you remember what we said about the best man and the best man? Well, now let the bride and groom have a concern because… you never know.
These newest from the wedding front in the year 2015 in the country Cyprus. All of the above for one - at most two days - "passiama". With a lot of luck, perseverance and perseverance, this couple will not divorce after two years of marriage because they discovered that they want to live their lives, sleep with more people, do not want to have children and basically "what the hell went and did" In any case, we wish a flower-filled life to the normal, the abnormal, the overproduction weddings, the lantern weddings and the weddings.Source: City Free Press