A humorous announcement was issued by the staff of the presidential candidate, Andronikos Zervides, falsifying the announcements about the expenses in the pre-election campaign.
This announcement:
The independent candidate for the Presidency of the Republic of Cyprus, Andronikos Zervides, announces his estimated, unaudited, expenses during the pre-election period:
1. Hair treatments and hairdressers: €23.000 (famous hairdresser who lives in Larnaca and deals only with celebrities and dogs)
2. Coffee and caffeinated soft drinks to stay awake during televised presidential debates: €18.000
3. New underwear: €500
4. Food and milk for feral cats: €100
5. Make-up: €1.50 for hair spray and gel in 1986. Unfortunately, she lost the products from 1986
6. Bribes: nil
7. Lavish lunches to get votes: nil
8. Cheap meals to get votes: zero
9. Money from the state: nil
10. Money from political parties (see above): nil
11. Photos of Andronikos on buses, billboards and walls: None (doesn't think he's handsome enough)
12. Advertising "love bus" (love bus) to tour Cyprus: nil (does not have such a bus)
13. Petrol for the above bus: zero
14. Printing and distribution of leaflets: nil. You are welcome! We are in 2023, not 1983.
15. Postage: nil
16. Pigeons for messaging potential voters from political parties stuck in the past: nil
17. Radio and TV advertising: nil
18. Pay TV and radio stations to be seen and heard 24 hours a day: nil
19. Red carpets: zero
20. Knives to "stab" other presidential candidates and political parties: zero
21. Bodyguards: nil (everyone loves Andronikos)
22. Digital Advertising and Public Relations: to be announced in March
Estimated cost of Andronicus' campaign (unchecked)
• Money from the state: nil
• Money from political parties (see above): nil
• Taxpayer money (see above): nil
• Money from special interest groups pushing for laws that will benefit them: zero
• Money from those who promised jobs or to influence the authorities: zero
• Money directly (or through political parties) in exchange for ministerial positions: nil
• Money from offshore bank accounts: nil
• Donations from foreign powers through third parties posing as Cypriots: nil
• Cash 'stuffed' in envelopes: nil
• Money directly from members of the public: to be disclosed in March following an audit by PWC and KPMG
*The above are part of the satirical manifesto of Mr. Andronikos Zervides. The Candidate is understood to submit the actual expenses of his campaign in accordance with the provisions of the law.