The male tribes of the Cypriot beach

Every year you see them roaming the seas and shores. You now know, up and down their jaws, with their movements being as unpredictable as the sun that will rise tomorrow morning. They are the male tribes of the Cypriot beach. An eye-opener and an excellent trigger for sociological and other scientific studies. Enjoy! Sketches: Anastasia Erotokritou

I am an agent. I brought me to Cyprus

Probably topakas. He walks on the beach as if it were his home. He is an agent and knows all the other factors, guests and others. You will hear him do some name dropping since he knows the mayor, the businessmen and the underworld of the area. It makes fun of tourists to Cypriots, because only Cypriots deserve to enjoy Cypriot beaches. If two five-year-olds fight over the bucket, he will be thrown to separate them, because he is the master of the beach. He poses in style, walks with grace and sometimes whistles carefree because that's how he feels. Carefree. Why not, since everything around - he feels - is his property. He is darker than Donadella Versace and Giorgio Armani combined. He is even fitter than Arnie Schwatzenegger in the 80s, a decade that his whole figure strongly resembles. He was probably on the beach in the winter. He brought the sea to Cyprus. The-of-the-gym

He sweated and sweated all last season to make his appearance in the cool & deadly bars of the Ayia Napa-Protaras coastline, so the least you have to do is go back and admire his effort. You will see him frequent where the decibels of your music cause you to be slightly deaf and you do not even hear your thoughts. He will have next to him at least one more living ancient Greek statue like this one to complete the Hellenistic landscape. He puts on sunscreen as if there is no tomorrow, not to not burn but to emphasize the mice. It is his pleasure to see people and shake hands or to come and help you move the crib, where again he is given the opportunity to show the efforts he made to line up. His swimsuit is reminiscent of the unforgettable 80s and the sixteen-year-old vraki and highlights, depending on the color, all his skills except the abs. In the morning he sucks his foaming vitamin, in the evening tons of vodka without fear and with passion. Flirting is flirting, but the woman who married him at the age of 19 should know that she is sitting a little further down with their four children, so you are holding a butt because he may have mice, but she is biting. The trainer may have the mice but his wife is the one who bites.

Where the wind blows…

Or literally though. The race of windsurfers, kitesurfers, SUP-ers and all related, the first thing to do before going to the beach is to enter the weather channel and make sure it is going properly. It's windy; Does it have no air? He must know this to know what to carry on the strangely colored racks of his car. The car is that tall with the stickers on the back, yes. He is a sportsman, definitely, but with a glove. It has a sex appeal that disarms with its je m'en fous ideology and reminds me of David Hasselhoff in his dozens. The swimsuit, the uniform and the sports accessories he makes cost two salaries. He also carries food on the beach, because he does not eat extra calories, does not choose gluten-free foods, avoids sugar and excess olive oil. His "diligently-sloppy" abs, which he seems to have acquired effortlessly, in contrast to the hard core workouts below, attract women of a similar style and diet. If you go on a trip to decode all these sports accessories he does, you will eat your life, I tell you. The worst thing you can do to catch him talking is to ask him if he listens to Red Hot Chilly Peppers. The current generation has overcome these, that is why you will receive the appropriate look.Me and my company.

I. And my company. I. To catch the beat you have to think of the company as an extension of the Ego. This group of five or six people, does not carry extra at sea except for herself who happens to be accompanied by friends. Everyone and everyone poses individually at every opportunity. The time they take off the T-shirt, the time they put on the T-shirt, the time they enter the sea, the time they leave the sea, the time when they will urinate. You will only see them on organized beaches and organized does not mean just a crib. It means a bed of € 10 / one, white substrate, waiters, salads of € 7,50, umbrellas from these beautiful wooden ones. They do not have chicks, they went to find chicks. They have no loans, except for their car, so the rest of the money they make goes to the beds and the salads we were talking about. They probably also wear an accurate watch that can withstand a few meters under the sea and sunglasses they took from abroad, which no one else wears within a radius of 200 meters. They are overnight, they communicate after 3 in the afternoon, and they are nothing but the clubbers of the city who were transported to the beaches. If you are looking for a good one night stand and two or three days of paid luxury vacations, choose one of the company and get it. If it does not suit you, choose the next one. It does the same.

The entrance of the family head to the beach is prefaced by a cart of plastic and colorful accessories.

Patrice, sea and family

Your classic head of the family. In a new reading, a modern version, yet just as distressed as its predecessors. In fact, the new age version, the one that honors gender equality, is going through much more difficult times than its ancestors. You will easily distinguish the head of the family in any length or width of the beach, even if he appears, since, at his entrance, a cart of plastic and colorful accessories is prefaced. His wife is not very happy that he has to pay € 10 for an umbrella and three cots - the offers of the municipality of Ayia Napa do not leave her indifferent - so he has to carry the family property: Chairs with a case for the frappe glass, balls and toys, children, dogs and cats, bag with sunscreen, bag with triangles sandwiches and fruit, bag with towels, Arta with Ioannina. When he is parked all over the place - where his other half has pointed out to him - he will sit in his chair to take a breath and alas if the leggings with the fluo thong pass in front of him: He will also hear voices from above, because he looked at her . If his children do not convince him to make castles at 40 degrees, he will prefer to sit in the corner and be patient. Sports newspaper and beer? Are you serious?

Fishing rifles

If you do not have scales and fins, do not scream naked and sexy in front of them, they will not come back to see you. The goal is one, the good fish, and you just stand in the way of the whole scene. He wakes up at two in the morning to make his balls and arrives at the special beach when even the fish are asleep. He knows very well when and where snorkeling is prohibited but if he is determined he will manage to hide his accessory in style and will go to do his job wherever he is. The most patient, those with the cane, are the sophists of the tribe who are harassed by the first visitors to the sea, usually Englishmen who dive at 6 in the morning and until 9 are at home for lunch. The last thing that concerns this group is its look, hence the faded towel, the original swimsuit from the 80s and the bag I love Cyprus. Their only concern is to get the good post and have something to say at the table about their adventures. Those who are silent and humbly patient all morning, are so extreme and loud at the table that they will say about the fish that escaped them. You want such a person as a friend because, if nothing else, summer without fresh fish what summer is? * The above text is a product of our imagination and has nothing to do with real people or situations [sic!]. Stay tuned for the respective female races on the Cypriot beach next week.

Source: CityFreePress