These days, gifts are in the spotlight. Sometimes expensive and luxurious, sometimes more symbolic and "as much as it takes us", against the background of the many years of economic crisis, is undoubtedly the highlight of the holidays.
But they are not limited to this era. They can be holiday or birthday gifts or gifts for no reason. A form of expression of emotion. Others choose them easily, others consider them a very serious matter. However, research shows that a "bad" gift can hurt a relationship. So thanking the recipient is doubly important.
Lists and budget
One question, especially at such a festive time, is how much to offer gifts. The second is how much money he will spend. So the first in relation to the second determines to a great extent what this gift will be.
According to the BBC, the average household spends around 500 650 on Christmas presents, and in the US the figure is around $ XNUMX. Obviously the purchase of gifts can fill the pleasure of the one who buys it, but it is important that this feeling is passed on to the one who receives it and the gift works as a step of strengthening the relationship between them. If it is not so successful, it may have the exact opposite effect.
"Choosing the wrong gift can be a risky relationship, because it probably shows that the buyer and the recipient do not have much in common," explains Elizabeth Dunn, a professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia in Canada. author of the book "Happy Money: The Science of Happier Spending". Her research has also shown that unwanted gifts can have a negative effect on how the recipient perceives them from the perspective of their relationship with the recipient.
But how can one be sure that one chooses a gift that the recipient will love? Again, it is Psychology that can have the answers.
Do not worry too much about the price
Do we sometimes give a lot money not only to get a good gift but also to do a little show? Research has shown that the highest cost does not always guarantee that the gift will be received with the appropriate satisfaction. One study found that the more expensive a gift is, the more the recipient expects it to be appreciated. But even though those who offered the gifts believed that the larger amount proved to be more caring and more thought-provoking, the recipients did not associate the price with the level of appreciation of the gift.
"We often think that when you spend more you will get a better gift. But it does not seem to be the case that the recipient associates the cost of a gift with how much he will enjoy it, "explains Jeff Galak, Marketing Professor at the Carnegie Mellon Tepper School of Business in Pittsburgh.
Galak, who deals with consumer behavior and decision-making, recognizes that one can have a "limit" on this output, due to traditions or expectations. But once it reaches this limit, it does not matter much if it buys something more expensive. The gift itself is what counts most.
The thought that can get you out of the impasse
Galak says there is a trick to making great choices, and that is to think beyond the moment you give the gift. A view that his colleagues, Julian Givi and Elanor Williams found, is a common issue in gift selection studies.
"When someone gives a gift, they try to imagine the moment they will give the gift and see the smile on the recipient's face," says Galak. "But recipients are more interested in the value they will derive from the gift in the long run."
In other words, it may not be very exciting to receive a subscription to a cable channel, so possibly the one who thinks of offering such a gift eventually rejects it. In reality, however, the recipient is very likely to enjoy this gift very much - and in the long run - even if his reaction when he receives it is not very impressive.
How important is it to be "unique"?
Galak insists that we should not get stuck in offering the most special and unique gift out there. Sometimes something that many want and many have may be exactly what the person we care about would like.
Research has shown that when choosing a gift we tend to focus on the unique characteristics of the recipient and his personality. But this super-specialization makes us ignore other aspects of their desires and needs, and this leads us to possibly wrong choices. We also tend to buy different gifts for many people, although they may all be happier with the same gift - and they probably would never compare their gifts.
"In order to feel that we made the best choice, we often believe that we must have variety in the gifts, even sacrificing a really good gift," notes Galak. In fact, sometimes we reject the possibility of buying something that we already have - and this may be related to our intention not to underestimate our own sense of individuality.
If, say, a woman has a pair of shoes that a friend really likes, she can get them the same, no uniqueness will be lost…
Common interests
To make the best gift, says Psychology professor Dunn, you can start with the commons that unite you with the recipient. Instead of using his own preferences, focusing on how different the person for whom he chooses a gift differs, he can focus not on where they differ but on what audience they share, and choose his gift.
"We do better when it comes to choosing something for ourselves," he says, "so if you have something in common with the other, choose something that falls into common preferences, because what you like is very likely to be liked by the other."
Even more "loud" seems to be the gifts associated with something that donor and recipient can enjoy together. Like tickets for one concert or a cooking class. Research has shown that such a gift, which concerns a common experience, can bring the one who gives a gift and the one who receives it closer, even if they do not go together, for example, to a concert or theatrical performance.
The question that solves your hands
What if you have to choose something for a person with whom you have nothing in common? Dunn suggests either asking directly what he would like or giving him some choices. Research shows that people value the gifts they have somehow asked for more than others.
"People prefer to think creatively and surprise the recipient with a gift," Dunn explains, "but the best gift is something he wants."
Galak agrees that the simplest way to make someone happy with a gift is to ask them what they would like. It is not the answer that many people like, because we consider "gifts - surprise" as good gifts, even though science denies it.
"It is taboo to ask someone what they would like for a gift. But it is a pity, it would be better for everyone if we exchanged the gifts we wanted ".
Do not think so much
In conclusion, there is no reason to choose a gift for fear of failure: real "bad" gifts are very rare.
Unless something is completely inappropriate now, the recipient will definitely feel some level satisfaction and appreciation. Galak says that during his research he has asked thousands of people about gifts they have received and it is rare for someone to talk about a bad gift.
Even if a gift is lower than expected, to someone close, the thought is likely to count more. This is because when someone gives a not so good gift, it makes the recipient think about why he made that choice.
"When someone makes a problematic choice - such as giving a bad gift - the recipient tries to explain it, thinking about what might have been on their mind," explains Nicholas Epley, a professor at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. who focuses his research interests on how we evaluate other people's perspectives and thus make decisions.
His research shows that if the recipient feels that the donor has devoted time to his choice, he appreciates the effort made even though it is not the ideal choice.
In other words, the old saying "thought is what counts" seems to be coming true.
Even if you do not buy the perfect gift, at least one will feel good. "When someone puts a lot of thought into buying a gift, they feel closer to the one who will offer it," says Epley. "Even if the recipient does not feel the expected satisfaction, the one who offers it will have felt it."