The time out is one of the most popular "tools" for children's discipline. They can be a great way to inform children when their behavior is unacceptable, without escalating the situation, something that can distract children from what you want them to learn.
But, like any "tool", time outs must be used properly if you want them to be effective. If you have tried to use intervals and your child does not seem to be receiving the message, it may be time to reconsider when and why you are using them.
There are a number of schools of thought about the best way to develop them, but whichever you choose, the constant use of time outs can help children understand which behaviors are not appropriate.
Why use time out?
Research shows that the most effective form of parenting combines affection on the one hand and stable consequences when they act inappropriately on the other. Time outs help you to communicate that the behavior is unacceptable without "adding fuel to the fire". And unlike emotional confrontations, time outs give both parties the time and space they need to calm down.
The meaning of time out is not to embarrass or punish your child, but to spread an emotional state, help your child change gears, learn to manage frustration and regulate his behavior.
Tips for effective time out
To make the most of this method of educating children, consider the following:
- Warn children in advance that their behavior will result in a "break"
- Use a predefined place for the "break"
- Give a "break" immediately, with a short sentence
- Keep the "break" short
- Make it clear that they should stay calm during the "break"
- Do not pay attention to children during the "break"
- Use the "break" consciously and not accidentally
- Eliminate reciprocal stimuli while the child is on a "break"
- If a child violates the time limit, extend it by moving the child to a spare area from which he / she cannot escape (eg bedroom). Once he calms down he should return to his time out chair and the time he should stay there should start again
After the time out
When children are given time out for non-compliance with your instructions, when they are done you should ask them to complete any work you asked them to do before this "break". This helps them understand that time outs are not escape routes.
Once the time limit is over, you want to reactivate their attention by restoring them to what they are doing / working / playing so that you can praise them for a positive attitude. For example, if your child completes his time and then plays gently with the dog, you need to point out what he did right. This reassures your child that, although he had to go out on time, he is also fully capable of doing good and positive things that make you proud and affectionate for him.
Source: in.gr